Never have I been so depressed in my life...
I feel like a failure and also an 肥-lure (literally)...
This is what happen...
It was a bright and sunny morning...
But for some reason, Oni feel like something is wrong. Out of the usual, she felt lost and distracted when she woke up this morning. Even though the weather is nice, warm and sunny... All she felt was gloominess !?!
Like something in her life is reminding her that no matter what she do she will always be a failure...
So instead of waking up at 7am (because her finals was around the corner, most accurately in 2 days time), because of the gloomy atmosphere, she went back to sleep and woke up at 9am instead.
And it all thanks to an delivery lady that was delivering her parcel that she bought on Singles Day.
Even after she went back to her room, she felt lost... Yes she was excited for a moment about the parcel that she received... But it was just moment happiness... It really shows how money can buy momentarily happiness...
So she went back to her bed and just watch lifeless videos in YouTube about Glee (where they show about David being bullied because he's GAY) and Naruto (about Naruto being the Nine-Tailed Fox and hence was ostracized by the entire villagers, even though his dad sealed the nine-tailed fox in him as a way to show that he is actually the village HERO).
Just from watching those videos, we could really see how life fucked people up so badly... From popular to being bullied just because you are different or being ostracized because you have something that others feared...
It really makes one wonder about life, we are very judgmental human beings...
But Oni gloominess started to go away when she received a call from her mom, saying that she is bring her food and staying overnight at her hostel. Oni was delighted...
But what she didn't expect was what happened that night...
It was a peaceful afternoon but in the evening when her brother entered the room, that was when it all went south.
Oni was furious at her brother throwing her cardigan on her bed, when their mother asked him to hang it up buy the shelf area. Thinking that her bed sheets is being contaminated, she started throwing her tantrum... which frustrated her mom. As Oni's mom felt that Oni was rude...
Oni didn't feel that way as Oni's mom always have a soft side for her brother, Taki. Unlike Oni, Taki is slim, handsome and literally the smartest and over achiever at his age. While Oni is the total opposite of him. Taki was literally famous in his faculty, minor and even the school entrepreneurship program. He literally have power over there as the staff were all his best buds. He was even asked to be their poster boy, and was asked to represent them for some competition which he obviously won and earned ten thousands of dollars (split 6 ways) just over the weekends.
After what was being said, it was obvious who was Oni's parents favorite child....
So even though Oni was pissed, Taki treated Oni nicely and defeated her whenever possible, it was like Taki is Oni's parent... The way Taki treat and look after Oni is like how parents look treat and pampered their new born child.
But still... even though Oni is fortunate to have a brother like Taki, she felt jealous as her parents think nothing of her and would always fat-shame and shame her.
So Oni was both furious at her parents at times but her can't do anything about it but always try to seek their approval or recognition. She put on a facade of being an idiot and always cheer them on but was always smiling through the pain. The pain was excruciating but she just bear it thinking of the quote of "No Pain = No Gain"
What happen that night was Oni's fight with her mom due to an misunderstanding and tone of her voice. It got to the point where her mom wanted to leave and would even walk along the highway back. Oni was worried and continuously apologize and admit it was her fault but her mom refused and said she had enough. Oni started stating the danger of walking back and her mom said about she does not care about her life and Oni should just let her die.
The fight was so intense that both Oni and her mom cried about it. When Oni thought it was finally settled, Taki joined in the intervened (due to Oni's mom constantly calling Taki for help, but Taki reject the call as he does not want to let his roommate hear the conversation).
With Taki appearance, everything went downhill and Oni's mom was even more frustrated even though Taki mentioned that it may be because Oni's is too stress with her studies and even had to entertain her mom. Oni's mental health is unstable.
But at that point, Oni can't really listen to Taki. The only thing she cared was not to allow her mom to go back home as it was already 11.40pm. After Oni asked Taki to leave her room, Oni begged on the floor, and almost bowed at her mom to beg her not to go home. The fight was really heated and Oni mental health has taken a tow. Even when Oni's mom calmed down and fall asleep, Oni cried for an hour and a half long constantly wiping her face and blowing her nose.
To calm her down, she started creating a blog to blog her reflecting down in a third person view....
That is how this whole thing started....
Remember...
